What's Different?
I used to chalk my constant hotness and sweating up to being Italian, but now I think it was a combination of being in constant physical pain and being depressed. I feel like a whole new person. My team is still adjusting my meds, but they're working swimmingly.
I no longer feel high highs and low lows. I no longer feel like I performed a show the day after I performed a show. I used to dread the day after a performance because I'd be laid up, now I have substantially less pain. I used to dread the minutes after a performance because I'd be all blown up, bright red, everyone would be asking me if I'm going to have a heart attack. It was embarassing. "Give me a few minutes", but it was more like a few days.
I've performed a few shows, and aside from the first one at Amityville Music Hall where I was all jacked up on benzos and anti-depressants from the night before, they've all been great. Even the AMH show wasn't bad, I was living and learning. I think only Chris and I could tell. I never believed when people told me help was out there. I guess that's on me.
I got to perform solo at my friend Billy's birthday party down in Roebling on Saturday, and while I was down there I hit up the local museum and took in some history. It was a company town, they made all of the wire that holds up every major suspension bridge. Cool stuff. The show was tremendous, every band was awesome. The people were great. Fun times were had. I was cool as a cucumber until the meds dragon started chasing me and I disappeared before I turned into a pumpkin. I am full of gratitude. Love to CK5, Dig A Revel, and Esteemed Bastards crews.
I was so inspired on Sunday morning that I demo'd hard. Be inspired, be inspiring.
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