Divorce Is Hilarious - Part II

Sorry Jack, Chucky's back. Childs Play 2 is my favorite movie in the entire series. It builds and improves upon the best aspects of the first, it had some great classic kills, it's a bona fide classic. If you read part 1 of Divorce Is Hilarious, post separation the old man let us watch whatever the fuck we wanted as long as we didn't tell mom. The article culminates with Mom throwing the My Buddy Doll into the basement and tearing dad a new asshole.

My friend Dan decided to rent Childs Play 2 and invited me over to watch it. I decided to sit in a deck chair on his front porch and watch it through the window "just incase." Still one of the funniest things ever. I can't even talk about it without laughing at the sheer absurdity of my childhood fears. Of course in that movie, Chucky is thrown into the basement. It leads to one of the best kills in the movie, "How's it hangin', Phil?" followed by a snapped neck. At some point in the film the doll goes into the garbage as well. And much to my mother's chagrin, that's where mine ended up, because I wasn't getting murdered in my basement. I stayed home from school to watch the garbagemen take away My Buddy. I was dumb when I was 6. Shortly after that I conquered my fears and enjoyed Childs Play 3, it was fun, good kill count, Chucky is a delightful little bastard in it. And I thought that's where Chucky was going to end until Bride of Chucky. (AKA the time every adult I knew judged me as if I was 7 years old despite being a whole 13 years old.)

So Bride of Chucky drops, my mom tells me I'm not allowed to see it. My friend Dan, his brother and I go see it anyway, opening night. It was hilarious, it put a cool twist on Chucky, and I loved it. We came home and Dan's mom told me "Your mom is really upset that you went to see that movie, you have to stay at our house." I was 13 years old and my mom thought I was going to have nightmares so I was banished to stay at my best friends house... they had better snacks over there anyway. That's when I realized I needed to up the ante of fuckery, so I started dressing like the goth kids on South Park... And that's where snow comes from.