Why Do It

There is no pay. No one shows up to support you. You’re up past your bedtime and you have work in the morning. It is a tremendous amount of work. It costs money you don’t have. There are long car rides and long waits. You watch bands that you have never heard of before. You must lug all that equipment to and from the venue. So why do it?

Why do it? As a young kid, I had few friends. While few, the bonds were strong. In fact, the few friends I had when I was in kindergarten , I still see today. I was shy and spent much of my weekends alone. No parties, no girls, just myself and my computer and hockey but that is for another day. I was socially awkward and even though I wanted to talk, I was locked in my shell of silence. My cerebral prison. I had one voice that spoke above everything else and that was drums.

Why do it? Music, for me, was the great equalizer. I can play loudly when I am angry or soft when I want something more delicate and nuanced. I can play fast or slow. When I am behind the kit, I know people hear me. The band follows me. People watch me. I can take a boring song and make it exciting. When I have a bad week, and right now, there are many (I work for the Federal Government) I can release my anger, frustrations and stress in a 2-hour music fest. I am seen.

Why do it? I have made hundreds of friends. Sure, they are not coming to my birthday, but we are united in song. I see the same familiar faces and we have a common experience and language. We catch up at shows. We talk about the bands we watch, those we have seen, and those we miss. We sing together. We supported each other when our families didn’t support us. There were funerals, weddings, and gatherings. Happiness and sadness. Some people I love and some I can live without but even those people I can live without - I would miss them if they were gone.

Why do it? It’s like a family of brothers and sisters that I never had. Don’t get me wrong, I do not come from a broken home. I have a great family, and I like to think I am a great dad. But this family, this musical family, is a family I chose and chose me. We love and hate each other, try to outdo each other, but we are still a family.

Why do it? My kids are watching. They watch me do it. They love that I do it and I can see they are proud that I do it. Their friends’ dads go golfing. Their dad plays rock and roll with some of the craziest, most interesting characters in the world. They have been baptized in song and have recorded on our band’s singles “Simple Life” and our cover of Nancy Sinatra’s “These Boots are Made for Walking.” They have an extended family now too. That is why I do it. For me, for them, and for the family.