Epilogue "What Can I Do For You?"
In the end I'm full of gratitude for the people around me who cared to have me committed 9/6/26. If they hadn't I'd be laying on my couch until tomorrow comes, going through the motions, miserable. Now I am alive. It was a group effort. Everyone missed me while I was gone... my friends, my family, the regulars and entire staff at the Oakley. I'm touched that nobody in my life gave up on me.
It was weird getting back to my normal life. I wrote the Cheers song sitting on my bed in the facility because I knew everyone would have questions. I think most people would be ashamed to be committed involuntarily to a behavioral health center but lets be honest, I haven't behaved in twenty years. I needed this more than I needed a vacation. This cost 5 times as much.
The most fun thing was being let out on 9/16, getting back to work for two days, and then on Saturday I took my parents, sister and her family, and my partner out to brunch after a nice walk in the park. It's nice to have freedom. My parents gave me the business a little bit about shit I said to them while I was in there the first few days before the meds started to work. My guitarist Pete joined us to go to a wrestling show at the Knights of Columbus. We had to convince my niece that wrestling is fake and she thought we were lying to her. Went to Grandma's for dinner after. My brother in law broke a chair, (not by hitting anyone with it.) Watched fourth of July fireworks on 9/19.
Sunday I performed a gig without having played guitar or sang much of anything in almost twenty
days. The weirdest thing was my brain blanking and making involuntary "positive" changes to the lyrics. Long stops in between the songs. I also got priapism, haven't blown a load since I've been home. My doctor thinks both are related to the Trazodone so we stopped that. I'm feeling a bit more like "me" but not impulsive or dopamine deprived.
If you need help, get help. It's out there. It took me three days to trust the process. Love you all.
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