Day 1 to 3 "Get Me Dr. Kevorkian" "Is that your primary care physician?"

Admittedly, and openly, I've been in physical pain for a long long long time. "What can I do for you?" is a question that tended to piss me off. I started answer it with "send me a bullet and a gun." I had an abcess on my balls, and my prostate is enlarged, my body hurt from arthritic pain tremendously. I hadn't eaten.

Instead of food or fire arms, mother sent the police instead. So the boys in blue came Saturday, picked me up and brought me to Clara Maas which is where people go to die, so that pissed me off immensely.

They gave me "something to sleep" in the form of a giant needle into my tricep, between my tattoos, really the only thing that still hurts because of the bruise. It's because I smashed my head against the gurney and I was bleeding like Ric Flair. WOOOOOO

They wheeled a doctor in on a TV and I told him to fuck off. From there I went to a behavioral health center in Toms River. I told them "Nana doesn't live there anymore, just send me home." NOPE.

I didn't understand where I was, or if it was permanent. I thought "This hell is my home now." Psychiatrist Dr. B and his team came in to do an inteview, where I asked for a death with dignity, "Where's Dr. Kevorkian?" and when they didn't know I told them to get ther fuck out.

I hobbled around the ward for a few days. It reminded me of the OG Halloween. All types of people just wandering around, people who laugh at the funniest standup comic ever that none of us can see, people having full on conversations with whoever is in their head, and other people who "just had a fucked up night."

I considered myself a person who is above all of this and spent the first few days trying to escape. Ended up staying the whole 10 days because of how I behaved. The place was completely harm proof... no sheets, no hooks, no flathead or philips head screws, no razors, no deodorant, no showerheads or faucets with anything to hang anything on, push buttons instead of handles on the faucets. "Three hots and a cot" basically. Hey, at least the food was good once I was medicated...

"Are you seeing or hearing anything that we're not seeing or hearing?" I have a new least favorite question...

Part 2 coming soon...